Your blog entry suggests that you have many interests, and I imagine that you always will. Over time, regular meditation should engender a much greater feeling of tranquility, so you don’t feel driven to pursue one thing after another. You may still do many different things, but you won’t feel so compelled to define yourself by what you do, to “become” a specific someone or something. You already are who you are — a beautiful human being. Your “salvation” won’t be found in doing this thing or that — it will be found in discovering the infinite freedom of your eternal Self. Maharishi has often compared the mind to an ocean, with waves on the surface supported by the silent depths. If we are unaware of the depths, all we experience is the tossing of the waves. Through regular meditation, our awareness becomes established in the silent depths; then anything can happen on the surface without disturbing our inner peace.

The swan image is compelling — the calm exterior, the “paddling like mad” underneath. In India, the swan has a completely different symbolism. It is a symbol of an enlightened human being: it swims through water, but its feathers remain dry. Similarly, an enlightened person lives in the world, yet is unaffected by life’s ups and downs. The swan is also mythically credited with the ability to separate milk from water, just as an enlightened person takes everything in, but discriminates the eternal from the non-eternal. The spiritual association is further emphasized by the swan’s extraordinary grace, moving almost as if suspended above the water’s surface, which evokes the detachment that is the result of meditative practice.

If you haven’t meditated in a while, I encourage you to get in touch with your teacher or the local Transcendental Meditation center and get your meditation checked. It is a delicate practice that needs to be done in a completely effortless manner. If a little effort or strain creeps into the practice, you won’t get the same remarkable benefits (see http://www.tm.org/discover/research/summary.html), and as a result you are less likely to continue the practice regularly.

Good luck on your journey!